Table Talk: Getting Nowhere Fast

Many of the stories my dad has told me over the years have involved his cousin Harvey. They are only 6 months apart and were thick as thieves growing up, often getting into mischief together.

This one particular instance, they were out on a pond in a little row boat, doing some fishing. They were facing each other while they fished. Suddenly one of them looked over the edge of the boat to see a snake's head popped out of the water and staring straight at them. They screamed and both started wildly paddling.

Only problem was, they were still facing each other. One was paddling one way, the other paddling the other way. In their panic, they didn't realize they were getting absolutely nowhere. When they finally realized what they were doing my dad said he looked down and there still sat the snake, staring at them. He said "I swear that snake was laughing at us."

Table Talk: The Time My Dad Chased His Cousin With a Knife.

When my dad was in his younger years, around 6 or 7, he happened to be hanging out with his cousin Linda one day. They were walking down the sidewalk when my dad suggested she jump on his back. Unfortunately she landed too far up, causing him to fall forward and scrape his head on the concrete. First he started bleeding then he started seeing red. They argued for a while, eventually making their way back to the house. Somewhere along the fight,  dad started chasing Linda through the house. They ended up in a bedroom and dad cornered Linda by a bed. He went to kick her and she moved out of the way just in time...for my dad to kick the bed instead. Just when he thought he couldn't be any more mad! Blood was boiling at this point. "How dare she move! She made me kick the bed!! She should have just sat there and let me kick her!" He then grabbed a big butcher knife and the story ends with him chasing her down the street, knife in hand.

The good thing about this story is 1. He never caught her. 2. This story had been told to me once before by Linda herself. She had a glint in her eye and a smile on her lips.

My dad told this story again tonight. As an only child, his cousins were like his siblings. Many good times and good stories have come from being with his cousins.  

You found out WHERE!?!

Here I sit, a little over 10 weeks or (2 1/2 Months) pregnant. I've been meaning to write this down before my pregnancy brain completely wipes out the memory of how this all went down. It will happen, I just know it.

It's not a terribly long story, but here it is.

I had suspected I was pregnant for a few days previously. Some things just weren't adding up. Of course, when you're trying to get pregnant, you think you're pregnant every single month. I didn't put much thought into buying the pregnancy test cause I had done it pretty much every month previously. I had gone to the store with my parents when I purchased it. On our way back we ran into traffic and came to a complete stop. It was then that I announced that I erm...needed to use the facilities. Luckily we were right next to a restaurant and were able to pull out of traffic to get to it. As I got out, I thought to myself "Wouldn't it be funny if I found out I was pregnant HERE?!?" I had an inkling it would be positive, but I was almost certain it would be negative. So I went ahead and grabbed my test and marched right in. I made awkward eye contact with the waitresses as I went in and made a bee-line to the ladies room.

Lo and behold it was actually positive! I couldn't believe it. I was almost frozen in place. Had an out of body experience. My body went cold all over. It had finally happened again. 7 years in between Matthew and David and now there will be 6 years in between David and this little one.

I still can't believe I found out where I did. Because I found out I was pregnant at HOOTERS!!!

I just can't make this stuff up. This is my life.