Friday, March 15, 2013

Journey to Health

I think it's safe to say I have struggled with my weight my entire adult life. I probably would have struggled with it during my teen years, but I'll be honest...I did drugs. So eating was not a priority to me, therefore the weight stayed off. It wasn't until I became pregnant with my now 12 year old son that the weight started piling on. I did not make healthy eating choices. It was from then on that I started the terrible habit of eating for comfort. I would eat if I was happy. I would eat if I was sad. I would eat if I was confused about a problem. I always thought everything could be solved with food. I self sabotaged. I really wanted to lose weight but deep down I hated myself for the way I looked therefore I punished myself with more food. It was a vicious cycle.

This continued for years. I am now in my early 30's an have finally found myself in a place where I just want to change. I'm tired of feeling the way I do. I know the only way I'm going to be able to change is to end that vicious cycle.

So on New Years Day 2013 I started going to the gym.

I have not gone everyday. But I have gone quite a lot since then. I take Yoga at least once a week and I try to get my cardio in by walking on the treadmill for 30 minutes a day. I am proud to say that just the other day...I actually jogged. I was so excited, I started looking around at the other people at the gym. I just wanted to scream at them "DID YOU SEE WHAT I JUST DID!!!"

I know I have a long road ahead of me. I try not to pay too much attention to that blasted scale. With my thyroid disease, it doesn't want to budge much anyways. So I've been paying attention to how all this exercise is making me feel.

To tell you the truth, at first I hurt. A lot. For a good month or so I was constantly in pain. My muscles hated me. I could hardly walk one day. But I pushed through it. Yes, I am still sore most days. But I FEEL stronger. I can walk to the park with my boys without feeling like I'm going to die when I finally get there. And that's why I'm doing all of this. I want to have a healthier life. I want to be able to play with my boys. I want to give them the mother they deserve. I just wasn't doing that before.

This is the beginning of my journey to a healthier me.

I'm not there...but I'm on my way.