Interview with Matthew: Age 11

A: If you were stranded on an island and only had one kind of food to eat, what would it be?

M: Something healthy, probably coconuts cause that's the only thing on islands. But I don't like coconuts.

A: What do you love most about your brother

M: When he's not a pain...

A: What makes you laugh?

M: When dad does funny things and it makes mom laugh.

A:  How old are your grandparents?

M: Uh...85 I guess. (Off by at least 20 years, kid)

A: What do you love most about Pop-Pop, Nana, and Grammy?

M: Pop-Pop- He loves me/ It makes me smile when I look at him and he's still there.

Nana- That whenever I smile at her she smiles back. It lets me know that she loves me.

Grammy: I like that she know how to make her grandchildren smile. 

I wish I could see them more.

A: What is the funniest thing that has ever happened to you?

M: I was riding my bike with some friends and a wagon was in the road. I swerved  and crashed into the weeds and disappeared. My friends asked me if I was ok. I just stuck out my hand and gave them the thumbs up. They started laughing and I started laughing. I'm just glad I didn't get turned into sliced ham. 

A: What's the saddest thing that has ever happened to you?

M: We had a dog named Dax that got hit by a car. 

A: What is the scariest thing that has ever happened to you?

M: When I rode the Tower of Terror at Disney World with my mom. (Really...you should have seen his face. It was hilarious! We just had a good laugh remembering that one.)

A: Tell me about a random memory:

M: This was when I was little, I think I was 5. It was in Arizona. My devilish Uncle Josh and Uncle Steve, we went on a boat together and they decided to throw me into the lake. Terror came to me. Like my favorite balloon being popped.  (dramatic much??) (Also, what he doesn't remember, is that he was taunting his Uncles, saying  "You can't throw me in the water!" He had a life jacket on and the rest is history.)

A: What do you like about being a kid?
M: That I don't have to pay the bills. (Enjoy it while it lasts!)

A:One word to describe you would be _____?

M: Crazy

A: What is the grossest thing you can think of?

M: When I went hunting with my dad. I had to see a deer get it's skin cut off. 

David the Dog Whisperer

Tonight during bedtime David came downstairs to use the bathroom. Our dog Maggie is in her dog crate this time of night and inhabits the bathroom.

This little nugget of awesomeness followed:

{David exiting the bathroom} Mom! (in that whiny little boy voice) Maggie told me to be quiet.

Me: No she didn't, David. Do you know how I know?

David: No.

Me: Because Maggie is a dog. Dogs cannot talk, David.

David: Oh... {runs back into the bathroom} Maggie!! {in a voice seething with attitude} You can't talk!!


We all had to stifle our laughter. He is supposed to be going to bed. Laughing at him only delays the process.

 That kid makes me smile on a daily basis. 

Hats and Scarves

Matthew has been wearing this hat and scarf combo for the past couple of days. I rather like it.

The hat he acquired from his Uncle Bear and I made the scarf especially for him.

 He's been quite camera shy lately so when I suggested we take some pictures and he agreed, I was shocked. 

Not so surprisingly, he totally hammed it up for the camera.

 I had to get David in on the hat/scarf fun. They both pull it off so well!

 I only wish David had been wearing a different shirt. But this was an impromptu photo shoot so I just tried not to let it bother me too much.

 *kissie face!!!

This last one is a Matthew original. He decided he needed a mustache to complete his look. 

Gotta love him!

The Search for Cash

The awesomeness that is Matthew:

Yesterday we received a knock on the door. It was a lady passing out flyers for her missing dog "Cash." He had been missing over 2 weeks and they really wanted to find him. 

Matthew had been standing in the hallways listening to this lady's plea for help. When she finished he pumped his fist into the air and said "a mission!!! This is a job for MATTHEW!!" 

I smiled at his enthusiasm. We then decided to make it a family mission. 

We all piled into the car and drove around town, having Matthew lead the way. He rolled down his window and yelled for Cash. 

When we got back from driving around town he grabbed a friend and they walked around the neighborhood to look some more.

Unfortunately he never did find the dog.

Upon further inspection of the flyer we saw that there was a $200 reward for the safe return of the dog. 

Matt asked Matthew what he would do with all that money. His response: "I would give it to you." 

He knows that things have been tough financially. 

But seeing him so excited to help someone he had never even met before makes me proud beyond words. 

Conversations with a 3 year old

While getting out of the tub, David hears the water draining.
"Mommy! It's burping!! (moment of stunned silence) Oh, it says 'Excuse Me.' "

While I was getting him dressed after his bath.
"Mommy I naked boy!"
(in his best superhero voice) "Naked Boy!"

This little exchange happened the other day.
"Mommy, you're awesome."
"Thank you David."
"You're welcome Mommy."

"I like the skelly goat."
After a few seconds of mental confusion I realized what he was talking about. A telescope.


While sitting on my lap with his head on my shoulder and rocking us back and forth.
"Rocky a baby, in the tree."
Looks up at me and whispers...
"Close your eyes Mommy. Go to sleep."

How am I doing?

Everyone keeps asking me "How are you doing?" I think this is really sweet, but I don't always want to give the full, drawn-out explanation. So mostly, I just say "I'm fine, thank you."

There is truth to that. I am fine. Just not all the time. A lot happened last week, including the miscarriage.

Matt's Aunt Christina passed away suddenly at the young age of 42. His Grandfather also had a stroke, but thankfully seems to be doing well.

The passing of Aunt Christina just about knocked me off my feet. It was just a few months ago we were visiting and were all piled on her bed with 2 of her 3 kids talking and laughing while Matt fixed her computer.

So I'm dealing with a lot of grief.

Today doesn't seem to be one of my good days. I'm weepy and cranky.

I just need to keep reminding myself that I'm having a bad day, not a bad life.

So, I am fine. But then again, I'm not.

I'm still healing from my miscarriage. I didn't think it would take this long. I always thought you had a miscarriage and then that was it. A one day thing. But it was a week on Sunday and I'm still feeling the effects of it. Ibuprofen helps. So does lots and lots of candy.

Thank goodness for Halloween.

Miscarriage

The following post is slightly graphic. 

Writing is sometimes therapeutic for me. I'm going to talk about something that is very hard for me to verbally say but I want everyone to know. Mostly so there are no awkward conversations. One day I will be able to talk about it. Maybe even in the next couple of days. But right now, every time I utter the word Miscarriage, my heart aches and the tears flow openly.

I had a miscarriage.

Sunday morning the boys and I went to church. Matt stayed home because he is working the night shift and so sleeps during the day. I was still on my new pregnancy high. 7 weeks pregnant, the baby was the size of a blueberry. That was our little nickname for it.

During church services I noticed I was cramping a little. My back was sore also. I just shrugged it off, thinking maybe I was being a little bit of a sissy. I had been spotting the week before and even went and had an ultrasound done. I saw the teeny heartbeat. I'll always remember that teeny little heartbeat. But according to my doctor, everything looked fine.

Spotting is normal as long as it's not bright red and there are no clots. So I just kept an eye on the spotting and slowed my activities way down. No lifting and lots of laying down to read.

Sunday afternoon we were invited over to a friends house for their daughters First Birthday. I arrived at 4pm, played with the baby. Watch David be crazy and silly per usual. I even received some congratulations for my pregnancy and showed off my ultrasound which showed a little blur for a baby. Even at that point I just wasn't feeling right. Call it intuition. I just couldn't put my finger on it.

At one point I went to the bathroom. It was then that I noticed my underwear was soaked with blood, amongst other things. I was devastated.

Matthew came to the door just as I was getting ready to leave. "Mom? Are you ok?" I opened the door, let him and start crying. I manage to say "I lost the baby." He immediately tears up and wraps his arms around me. I love that kid so much.

I then realized I was going to have to walk through a whole crowd of  people to get to the front door while still crying freely. I made it to the kitchen where my friend Beka was preparing food for the party. I managed to sputter out that I had to leave because I just had a miscarriage. She gave me a big hug (hugs really help) and offered to take the boys home later, I agreed and ran out of the door, desperate to get home to my husband.

I get home, wake Matt and we go to the ER. Mostly because I didn't know what to do in a situation like this. I'd never had a miscarriage. After a 4 hour wait, blood work, and an ultrasound, it is determined that this indeed is a miscarriage.

I had pretty much prepared myself for that outcome, but to hear those words come out of the doctors mouth broke that teeny tiny string of hope I had left. We cried and then I told Matt I just want to go get something to eat.

So he fed me, he hugged me, he even rubbed lotion on my legs because they were dry. He has been my rock through all of this. I am so thankful that he is mine and I am his.

I will say that even though this has happened and I am sad about it:
I will not let it define my life or who I am.
I am not broken.
I will be happy, although just not right now.
I will recover.
We will try again.
We love Matthew and David so much. We are eternally grateful to have them as our children.