Emma's Story

Warning: this post is about childbirth. There is also poo talk so proceed at your own risk if you are easily grossed out.

I'm writing about this experience in detail for two reasons: 1) the obvious reason. I want to document the birth of my daughter. 2) if you are considering trying the castor oil, take heed. You quite possibly may have a similar experience. Prepare yourself for the possibility of a natural birth where an epidural is not possible. Luckily, I had already been through a natural birth with Matthew so I knew what to expect. I had wanted to try for a natural birth this time because I had an epidural with David and had some complications.

Also, it's important to research the risks of using castor oil so you go into it fully informed. Apparently it is sometimes frowned upon in the medical community. Other times it is encouraged. My nurses obviously leaned toward the frowned upon side. But I won't get into that.

I had heard of the castor oil method for years. It's intended use is to treat constipation. But it's also known to naturally induce labor by causing contractions.

My sister-in-law tried it with success with her daughter and my mother-in-law had also used it. I was wary at first, but as my induction date got closer (set for that Monday), I became more and more nervous. I just kept hearing horror story after horror story of botched inductions that ended in c-sections. So Thursday afternoon I suddenly decided I was going to try it. I even stopped and prayed to make sure this was something I should do.

I purchased the oil and orange juice went home and took my first dose at 6pm. At 8:30pm I took another dose.

I went into this fully aware that if my body wasn't ready to go into labor that it just wouldn't happen and I would just get tons of cramping and no baby. I had already had 3 false labors and because of that I felt my body just needed a little...nudge. Also, at my last appt I was dilated to 2cm and my cervix was described as "soft." Thinking back, I remember my doctor telling me that when I did go into labor, it would probably progress pretty fast due to my cervix already being soft. But even then, I wasn't expecting things to go the way they did.

So I waited....and waited. No diarrhea, just a few tummy gurgles. At about 10pm I decided to just go to bed. I was exhausted from not being able to sleep the night before due to contractions that stopped in the morning. I also figured nothing was going to happen and just accepted my fate that I would be facing an induction Monday morning.

At 11pm I had a contraction that woke me up. So I got up and headed to the bathroom. Still no bowel movements. I didn't have any more contractions so I just went back to sleep.

At 12am, the same thing. Contraction and bathroom. But nothing happened. No more contractions, so again, I went back to sleep.

At 1am I woke up to an extremely painful contraction. I got up and went to the bathroom once again. (this was pretty normal for me anyways. I went to the bathroom at least 6 times in the night. Gotta love a tiny human sitting on your bladder!) Still no bowel movement. But 2 minutes later I had another contraction. And they continued. Fast and hard. They hurt like crazy! But considering they had just started I decided to just monitor them. At about 1:30am I woke my husband up due to my moaning. He took one look at me, crouched on the floor, and said "We're going to the hospital. I don't care if they turn us down. You look like you're in labor." I didn't care at that point. I was in pain. I went to the bathroom and at this point the flood gates opened and my bowels completely emptied. I was relieved. I really didn't want to go to the hospital and have that happen.

So we told our 13 year old we were leaving and rushed out the door. I was still having steady, painful contractions about 1-2 minutes apart. Luckily the hospital was only about 10 minutes away. That was a painful car ride. I felt every single bump in the road. 

We got to the hospital at around 2am. Got up to L&D and got into bed. I was dilated to 4cm. I BEGGED for an epidural! But they wanted me to fill out a ton of paperwork (even though we pre-registered) before they called the anesthesiologist. (filling out paperwork is super fun when your having extremely painful contractions *sarcasm*) 

About 30 minutes later they checked me and I was dilated to 7cm. Literally 3 contractions later I was yelling at them that I needed to push. They told me "You're only dilated to 7! You'll swell your cervix! No pushing!" Well that's easier said than done and contraction after contraction I was yelling at them that I couldn't stop pushing, that my body was taking over. So the nurse checked me again and I saw her get this panicked look on her face. I said "I'm fully dilated, aren't I?" 

"I don't want to tell you, just don't push!" and out the door she went and returned with the doctor moments later. 

3-4 pushes later Emma was born.

June 6, 2014

3:12am 

7lbs. 6ozs.

19 3/4 inches long. 

She is absolutely perfect. I'm so lucky to have the amazing kids I have. Her big brothers are already quite smitten with her, as are the rest of us.

The Story of David

David Bowen Shoemaker was born on May 11th, 2008.

Tomorrow he will be 5 years old.

I realized I had never written out his birth story. I still need to because right now I want to write about my pregnancy with him. Let me tell you....it was a crazy ride!

It all started when Matt decided to join the National Guard. He had talked about wanting to join for years. But we had Matthew and he was still quite young and I was afraid he would miss out on all his firsts so I never gave him my consent.

From the time Matthew was 3 we had been trying for baby #2. For years nothing happened. I knew I could get pregnant, I got pregnant so easily with Matthew. I just couldn't figure out why it was taking me so long to conceive again.

Matthew was 6 when Matt brought up wanting to join the Army again. We were having lunch at the local pizza shop in Maryville, MO. At the time I realized I didn't want to hold him back from his dream and Matthew was getting older so I told him to do it, join the Army. I told him we'd just try again when he got back. I laugh just thinking about that now because that's not how it turned out at all.

Matt left for basic training on Matthew's 7th birthday. With basic training and A.I.T. (where they train him for the job he had in the National Guard) he would be gone for 8 months. So we decided to stay with my parents in Arizona while he was gone. I knew having him be gone that long would be hard but I really had no idea just how hard it would be.

About 2 weeks into the 8 month stay I start complaining to my sister-in-law, Adrienne,  about having body aches. She instantly perks up with "You are pregnant!" I just brush her off because we had been trying for over 3 years. I was certain I was not pregnant. A couple of weeks (if not days) later she bought me some pregnancy tests. I just rolled my eyes. I told her "fine, I'll take these just to prove you wrong."

Well, imagine my surprise when I get back to my parents house, take the test and it shows up POSITIVE!

I was elated. I couldn't believe it was actually happening...finally! I then realized that Matt would miss my entire pregnancy and possibly the birth of our second child. What a roller coaster of emotions that was!

Later that day I picked up Matthew from school and told him in the school parking lot. His reaction? "I'm not changing diapers." {He totally did though.} He had been asking for a baby sibling for a while and I was so happy to finally give him one.

In the end Matt was able to see me 4 times during my pregnancy. Once when he graduated from basic training. (I was only a couple months along) Another time when we found out we were having another bouncing baby boy. Again when I was about 6 months along. And finally in the end he made it home 48 hours before I went into labor.

That last week or so before he made it home were some of the hardest days of my life. I wanted him with me for the birth so very badly. He was there, and with his help I was able to give birth to the best Mother's Day present I could ever ask for.

David was born healthy and screaming at 8lbs. 15oz. The joke was if he hadn't pooped on the doctor he would have been an even 9lbs.

Now here we are, 5 years later. Our life wouldn't be the same without our David. He has brought so much joy {and mischief} to our lives.

Happy Birthday baby boy. I love you.

Miscarriage

The following post is slightly graphic. 

Writing is sometimes therapeutic for me. I'm going to talk about something that is very hard for me to verbally say but I want everyone to know. Mostly so there are no awkward conversations. One day I will be able to talk about it. Maybe even in the next couple of days. But right now, every time I utter the word Miscarriage, my heart aches and the tears flow openly.

I had a miscarriage.

Sunday morning the boys and I went to church. Matt stayed home because he is working the night shift and so sleeps during the day. I was still on my new pregnancy high. 7 weeks pregnant, the baby was the size of a blueberry. That was our little nickname for it.

During church services I noticed I was cramping a little. My back was sore also. I just shrugged it off, thinking maybe I was being a little bit of a sissy. I had been spotting the week before and even went and had an ultrasound done. I saw the teeny heartbeat. I'll always remember that teeny little heartbeat. But according to my doctor, everything looked fine.

Spotting is normal as long as it's not bright red and there are no clots. So I just kept an eye on the spotting and slowed my activities way down. No lifting and lots of laying down to read.

Sunday afternoon we were invited over to a friends house for their daughters First Birthday. I arrived at 4pm, played with the baby. Watch David be crazy and silly per usual. I even received some congratulations for my pregnancy and showed off my ultrasound which showed a little blur for a baby. Even at that point I just wasn't feeling right. Call it intuition. I just couldn't put my finger on it.

At one point I went to the bathroom. It was then that I noticed my underwear was soaked with blood, amongst other things. I was devastated.

Matthew came to the door just as I was getting ready to leave. "Mom? Are you ok?" I opened the door, let him and start crying. I manage to say "I lost the baby." He immediately tears up and wraps his arms around me. I love that kid so much.

I then realized I was going to have to walk through a whole crowd of  people to get to the front door while still crying freely. I made it to the kitchen where my friend Beka was preparing food for the party. I managed to sputter out that I had to leave because I just had a miscarriage. She gave me a big hug (hugs really help) and offered to take the boys home later, I agreed and ran out of the door, desperate to get home to my husband.

I get home, wake Matt and we go to the ER. Mostly because I didn't know what to do in a situation like this. I'd never had a miscarriage. After a 4 hour wait, blood work, and an ultrasound, it is determined that this indeed is a miscarriage.

I had pretty much prepared myself for that outcome, but to hear those words come out of the doctors mouth broke that teeny tiny string of hope I had left. We cried and then I told Matt I just want to go get something to eat.

So he fed me, he hugged me, he even rubbed lotion on my legs because they were dry. He has been my rock through all of this. I am so thankful that he is mine and I am his.

I will say that even though this has happened and I am sad about it:
I will not let it define my life or who I am.
I am not broken.
I will be happy, although just not right now.
I will recover.
We will try again.
We love Matthew and David so much. We are eternally grateful to have them as our children.

Silly boys and a BIG surprise!!

Things have been kind of crazy here at the Shoemaker Homestead.

Winter is closing in fast so I've been trying to relish in the last warm days of Fall. 

Last week it was so warm we decided to grab some blankets and soak up some sun. It was just what we needed. 

A few days later Matthew took it upon himself to rake some leaves in the backyard. He then led his little brother out there and they jumped and played. It's days like that that get me through the days when they aren't getting along so well. 

Matthew as the leaf monster!!

 David attempted to be a headless leaf monster also but then quickly decided the itchy leaves were no fun to lay in.

A few nights ago Matt was off working the night shift at Energizer so it was just the boys and I. We went upstairs early that night. (Morning sickness has been kicking my behind and all I want to do is curl up in a bed with a good book.) 

So there I sat in my bed while the boys played. At one point they came in like this:

 Then Matthew had the brilliant idea of grabbing my sweater to put around David.

 Oh, these boys always know how to make me smile. 

In other news we found out that I AM PREGNANT!!!

I'll know more about when my due date is when I go to the doctor but we're estimating at late May/early June.

We couldn't be more thrilled. Everyone keeps asking if we hope it's a girl. Of course we'll take whatever is given to us. A girl would be different, but if it's a boy then at least we'll know what to do with it! Hahaha!